A renowned Swiss psychiatrist, the author of the groundbreaking book On Death and Dying wrote that “There are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear.” The interesting thing is, approximately 80% of all our fears are just in our heads – 80% of them never come to be realized. However, our minds experience real and this irrational, unfounded fear in the exact same way, which can truly be detrimental to our emotional and mental well-being, and that is precisely why we need to shake it off.
It is completely normal to be afraid at times, no one is denying you that right, but to live in constant fear and imagining the worst case scenario for every life situation is plain self-destructive. Therefore, it’s high time you did something and banished this irrational feeling from your life as much as possible, and hopefully, these tips will lead you to that path.
Like with any other issue – you can’t remove the elephant in the room without acknowledging its presence. You have to sit down and pinpoint the things that cause you fear. Write them down, the impact of actually seeing them on paper not only helps you visualize having them in front of you, but it also serves to diminish them. You’ll look at your list of fears, and some of them will just seem so insignificant and small in comparison to the wonderful and fulfilled life you have.
As for certain fears, such as phobias – it’s simple, face them. One step at a time – go to the top of the building, even if you have to climb up and down a hundred times. Once you face it, you will realize that there was little to fear in the first place.
One of the most effective ways to both physically and mentally strengthen yourself is to adopt the practice of meditation. Not only have numerous studies shown that meditation can help heal the body of all negative emotions, all stemming from fear (stress, anxiety and even depression), and the result is a clear mind that is ready to soak up all the good things in life. Through meditation, you don’t only become stronger and more fearless, you actually discover that you were all those things, to begin with.
Meditation provides epiphanies and positive revelations and it helps you breathe life in a way you didn’t imagine possible.
If you tend to remember the struggles, but not the victories that came out of them, you need to be reminded of them daily. Never underestimate the power of positive affirmations. Put them in visible places such as mirrors, your laptop, even a vision board if you have one. Constantly remind yourself of the battles you’ve won, of the virtues that are in you, and they will give you that boost of fearlessness. If you’re ready to take things a step further and create a truly permanent reminder of how far you’ve come, why not commemorate the journey with a significant tattoo?
For me personally, this has been a choice I have never come to regret. Wonderful custom Japanese tattoos in Sydney swayed me towards getting one myself, and it’s a cherry blossom tree. In Japan, this stands for life, death, strength and beauty. They are a reminder of just how fleeting life is, and this is the exact reason it was my tattoo choice. Life is too short to not live it to the fullest and let every little thing grind you down and back you into a corner.
There was a scene in Grey’s Anatomy in which Amelia stands in a superhero pose just before a major surgery because she read a study that the ‘superhero pose’ actually makes you more confident and fierce. I did a little digging and found that it’s actually true, and have been practicing it ever since. I might not be a neurosurgeon, but we all have our challenges and obstacles to overcome, so we can all benefit greatly just by standing like a hero for a few minutes. It’s true, not all heroes wear capes, but they all stand tall.
If fear and love are the two opposing forces governing our lives, do whatever is in your power to bring, summon and surround yourself with as much love as one person possibly can. Some of us are afraid of rejection and abandonment, and Peter Michaelson has a different, more in-depth approach to this issue that doesn’t just say ‘oh, get over your fear’. He states that sometimes, we as humans tend to become subconsciously addicted to rejection, and in order to cover it up, we run away from relationships.
In order to be truly free and embrace love without fear, you need to acknowledge your unwilling addiction to pain, face it and then release it. If you have to turn to a professional to get to the root of your intimacy issues, do it, it’s worth it if it will get you back to the path of love and far away from fear.
Queens of Virtue